BIG NEWS EVERYBODY! For those of you who haven't read this entry
on my girlfriend Jenn's LJ, I have big news. I am allowed to read turtlecest again.
This is a BIG step for Jennifer. I am very proud of her. We have been talking about it for a long time in counseling, and she basically has told me that she doesn't enjoy turtlecest, but I am allowed to look at it as long as she doesn't have to see it. :)
It makes me VERY happy that she loves me enough to trust me with this privilege
. She has told me that she loves me TOO much to have something like different tastes in pornography tear us apart. That makes my heart overflow with joy.
I took my time in posting this entry for 2 reasons:
1) I didn't want ANYONE on my f-list to think Jenn is wishy-washy or ANYTHING bad about her just because she changed her mind. This is COMPLETELY untrue. Jenn and I have gone through a TON of counseling together and a LOT of soul-searching and revelations. 3 BIG things I think have helped bring about this decision in Jenn. a) Jenn's uncle and grandfather APOLOGIZED to her
, making incest not seem like such a huge scary thing, b) we talked a LOT about WHY she doesn't like me reading it, and I assured her that those fears were unfounded, and c) when I fucked up recently, she spent a lot of time thinking about what life would be like if we were apart, and consider if t-cest is enough to pull us apart.
2) I didn't want Jenn to feel completely BOUND by this decision in case she changed her mind (that's also the reason I haven't looked at much 'cest yet) I wanted to make sure that if she DID change her mind, she wouldn't feel pressured by any post I had made.
I still feel bad that I was EVER dishonest with Jennifer, and it *WILL* take some time to FULLY earn that trust back. However, I feel as though a GIANT weight has been lifted off both my shoulders and our relationship. I don't feel the need to go and seek out 'cest, but it feels wonderful knowing that if I do go trolling for fic, I don't have to be super-careful not to click on 'cest, and that if I see a 'cest story I want to read, I can read it without repercussions. I love my Jennifer SO much. She is made of awesomesauce and I know that we are meant to be together XD
Jennifer's love and trust make me SO happy. It makes my heart ache because she loves me SO much! *sends love to my Jenn-Jenn*